It must be said that Battle: Los Angeles is a film with one special distinction going for it: never before has watching aliens blow up been so soul crushingly dull. You wouldn’t think it would be possible, but despite the fact that the movie dedicates at least 90% of it’s running time to marines kicking the shit out of aliens, you’ll find yourself shifting in your seats within seconds. The pitch meetings in Hollywood must have sounded fantastic. Between snorting up dildo-sized lines of coke some twitchy producer blurted out, “Man, what if Black Hawk Down and District 9 had a baby and that baby bought you a yacht?” Unfortunately while $100 million cheques were being cut, no one bothered to worry about pesky little elements like story, context, and characterization. Simple things that might not look sexy on paper or cause studio execs’ eyes to turn into dollar signs like in a Warner Brothers cartoon, but still have an intangible quality that audiences need whether they know it or not.