As far as ludicrous movie pitches go, the "'Speed' with a piano' logline for "Grand Piano" is up there with "Snakes On A Plane" and "Burning Bright" (don't remember "Burning Bright?" That was the one where the girl from "Step Up 2" and her autistic brother are trapped in their house by a hurricane, only to be stalked by an escaped tiger. Seriously). The film, announced a week or two back, is set to star Elijah Wood as a concert pianist with stagefright forced to play the concert of his life in order to save his life, and his wife, after finding a threat on his sheet music. Again, we're not making this up.