Gather ‘round, children, for the tale of three unwise men: Ethan (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), Isaac (Seth Rogen), and Chris (Anthony Mackie). They’re best friends with a long-standing Christmas Eve tradition—see the Rockefeller Center tree! Play the FAO Schwartz piano just like Tom Hanks in Big! Go crazy at a basement-karaoke dive!—in New York City. But this year, everything’s changing: Isaac is about to become a dad; pro football player Chris is busy living the brand-sponsored dream (Red Bull gives you wiiiiings); and orphaned, aimless Ethan is mostly busy pretending they haven’t both left him behind.